Bits n Pieces

Bits n Pieces

Church Bulletin Bloopers
Bits n Pieces

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Bertha Belch,
a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight
at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear
Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER &
FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and
Prayer conference includes meals."

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way
again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a
chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the
house. Don't forget your husbands."

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the
Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are
welcome!  Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled
due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The
sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to
someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off --let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school
days.

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost
of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new
carpet will come
forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir
practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older
ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in
preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed
potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a
nominal feel.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.

During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege
of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our
pulpit.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the north and south
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at
4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will
sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the
pastor.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.

Potluck supper Sunday at
5:00 pm.--prayer and medication to
follow.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth
of David Belzer; the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double
door at the side entrance.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church
secretary.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge, Up
Yours!"

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his
audience.

A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was
given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on
people who are not afflicted with any church.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S.
is done.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday morning.

Thursday at
5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the
minister in his study.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to
8:30 pm.
Please use the back door.

The third verse of "Blessed Assurance" will be sung
without musical accomplishment.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible
Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services
will be discontinued until further notice.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special
thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the
whole evening at the piano,
which as usual fell upon her.

In the church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS
GOOD! Dr. Hargreaves is better.