Let me charge you for some 'free water'
Perhaps the most incredible magicians of them all, are those
who can take 'already known illusions' -– and still fool people into
thinking something special has just occurred. Marketing magicians are doing just
that in the Western World.
Water - the most important natural resource of them all. And
in our part of the world at least, at this stage there is an abundant supply,
and it's free. Isn't it? Apparently not, according to The Press 10
August 2002. The 'Gatorade company is the latest drink giant to put a charge
on water, and collect cash from customers happy to pay for it.
"Not a drop to drink for free -– Gatorade is now making
water. I know this because I saw a Gatorade commercial that asks the intriguing
question: ''What if Gatorade made water?''...
The commercial features the usual cast of hyperactive
Gatorade people, who have to constantly ingest massive quantities of fluids, or
they shrivel up like dead toads on hot asphalt. Gatorade people dehydrate
rapidly because they are fanatically dedicated to exercise, and as a result,
perspiration-wise, they are human fire hydrants.
Even when they stand still, sweat gushes from their every
pore, so that within seconds they're surrounded by an expanding puddle of their
own bodily secretions...
...Gatorade is now making water. It joins the rapidly growing
list of companies, including Coke, Pepsi and (any day now) Yoo-Hoo, getting into
the highly profitable, multi-billion-dollar business of making water...
...There's no need to actually MAKE water, because there's
already water all over the planet -- water in lakes, water in rivers, water
falling from the sky...
What the bottled-water companies do is get some of this
water, put it in bottles, give it a brand name, sell it to consumers, then smack
themselves in their corporate foreheads and say, ''We can't BELIEVE we're
getting away with this! Do you think they'd buy air? How about dirt?''
...Today, of course, thanks to the educational efforts of the
bottled-water industry, we consumers are terrified of our tap water, because we
know that it contains some of the most deadly substances known to man:
chemicals. To cite one example: Bottled-water-industry researchers recently
issued an alarming report stating that virtually every sample of tap water they
tested contained large quantities of hydrogen, which is a type of atom believed
to have caused the Hindenburg dirigible disaster.
''We're not saying that people who drink tap water will
explode in massive fireballs,'' assured the researchers. ''We're just saying
they should avoid open flames.''
This is why millions of consumers now prefer bottled water..."
Can you believe it? It would appear that marketing works!
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